


Clint Barton and the Mystery Caller

by fangirlSevera



Series: The Black Sheep and Other Family Animals [2]
Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, New Adventures of Old Christine
Genre: Crossover, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, secret relatives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-12
Updated: 2012-09-12
Packaged: 2017-11-14 03:09:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/510688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirlSevera/pseuds/fangirlSevera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint becomes concerned, confused, and suspicious because Phil is being secretive about the phone calls he keeps getting from some guy named Richard. Natasha tries to knock some sense in to him. Fury is still obsessed with inter-agency cooperation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clint Barton and the Mystery Caller

Clint woke-up in a now familiar, comfortable bed. His disappointment in waking up alone was quickly soothed by the wafting aromas of coffee and bacon coming through the open bedroom door. Clint smiled. He'd been waking up in Phil Coulson's bed on and off for the past three months. It was an experience he didn't want to take for granted. 

Clint sat-up and raised his arms and stretched his back. He needed to shower, and hoped that Phil hadn't gone through his ablutions yet so that he could convince him to share. Clint was plotting out the scenario in his mind when a phone rang.

It wasn't Clint's phone. Phil was never not in the same room as his own. And yet, there was definitely a cell phone going off. Clint looked around, nothing on the dresser or the night stand. He stared at the nightstand again. Was the sound coming from inside it? Clint rolled over, opened the drawer and pulled at a cell phone. It wasn't a SHIELD-issue phone. It was a small, very basic contract phone, one he had never seen Phil use before.

Phil came racing into the bedroom, spatula in hand and grabbed the phone away, saying "Don't answer that!" In a voice as panicked as Clint had ever heard from him.

Phil quickly pressed a button to silence the phone, but it chimed a minute later signifying a voice mail message.

"You going to check that?"

Phil glowered at the phone. "No."

"Okaaaay. Can I ask-"

"No."

"Okay." And it was. Totally okay. They were spies, after all, they had their secrets. The phone very well could have been part of some ongoing assignment that was above Clint's clearance level. 

Apparently he hadn't looked convinced enough for Phil who sat down next to him and put a hand on his knee. "Clint, I promise you that some day I will explain this to you when I'm ready. Or when I think you're ready. But for now, I need you to never mention or ask about this phone again."

Clint nodded. "I understand."

Phil looked slightly pained. "You don't, you really don't." He stood back up, pocketing the phone, and extending a hand to pull Clint off the bed. "Now, let's get you fed."

Breakfast was amazing, as always. The morning was dampened by how before Phil had come back to the bedroom, Clint had seen the name on the caller I.D. It left Clint wondering who the hell "Richard" was. 

XXX

"What if it's some other guy he's seeing?"

"Yes, Clint," Natasha said, blowing a lock of red hair from her eyes and making a left jab. "In fact, maybe he has a whole second life. This Richard waits at home for long periods of time, convinced his husband, or whatever, is a traveling businessman away on long trips."

"You think?" Clint asked, failing to land a kick to her knees. 

She used his momentum to knock him off balance and pinned him to the floor. "You're an idiot."

"You can't tell him I've been talking to you about it. I promised to drop it."

"Guess I know now how much a promise from you is worth."

"Nat..."

"I won't say anything to Coulson. He's probably already assumed you'd talk to me about it anyway."

"He knows me so well. It's part of why I love him."

"And you express that love through jealousy and paranoia?" She shook her head and let him up.

Clint knew her thoughts on the whole love scene in general, and he felt pretty bad that he clearly wasn't doing anything to better her opinion of it.

XXX

A week later, Clint was bored. SHIELD apparently hadn't had any need for his special skill set recently. So, he took to the ceilings to entertain himself. Although he made several stops through the duct work, making some mental notes on possible security weaknesses, he of course spent most of his time peering through the grate above Coulson's office.

It wasn't creepy and stalkerish, he told himself. It was no different than when he sat right in the office and watched Phil work. But this way he was less distracting since Phil didn't know he was there. Clint could feel himself being lulled by soft, constant clicking of computer keys, the occasional hum from Phil that could have meant anything from frustration to satisfaction in whatever reports he was reviewing. Clint had even closed his eyes and pillowed his head on his hands.

Director Fury bursting through the office door had ruined the whole scene and sent Clint's eyes snapping open and his heart racing.

"Coulson!"

Clint considered moving. Fury's presence meant the possibility of overhearing sensitive information not for someone with his pay grade. But his protective side was concerned with Fury's tone and wanted to make sure everything was going to be okay for Phil.

Phil folded his hands over his desk, and calmly looked up at the director, as if the other man didn't look like his one eye was about to pop from his skull. "Is there a problem, sir?"

"Damn right, there's a problem. You've seem to have forgotten how a phone works!" Phil glanced at his desk phone. "You know damn well that's not what I'm talking about."

Phil sighed, and unlaced his fingers. "No. But I don't appreciate-"

"You don't appreciate." Fury leaned on the desk. "What I think you don't appreciate is how there are always consequences to actions. There are patterns. There are chain reactions. You don't answer the phone, Kay gets whined at. Kay gets whined at, he gets unhappy. And when he's unhappy, I get unhappy. And when I get unhappy, you-"

"I get the picture, sir. But, I still must say that this is something best left when I'm not on the clock, much less in my office. This mixing of my professional and personal life..."

"Son," Fury's tone quieted and darkened. Clint's heart nearly stopped at the sound of it. "You do _not_ want to start a conversation with me about mixing your professional and personal life. Because if you do, then we're going have to talk about how you've been taking my best sniper home with you for several months now."

Clint's heart _did_ stop then, and could imagine Phil's had, too.

"So, are we going to have that conversation, agent?"

"No, sir."

"That's what I thought. You know what you have to do."

"Next time Richard calls-"

"No. You're not waiting for next time he calls. You're going to call him back today."

"After I get home."

"You make sure you do." Fury swept out of the office in a swirl of leather coat.

Phil put his head in hands and groaned. Clint desperately wanted to go down there and comfort him. He could rub his neck or something to take the stress away. But if he were to drop down now, then he'd reveal he had overheard the whole thing, and he'd be in trouble.

The whole "Richard" mystery only deepened. Phil had admitted it had something to do with his personal life, not work. But Fury knew about it, and it also involved some guy named Kay. 

He kept himself away from Phil's office until the end of the day. Phil was packing his attaché case, and he didn't look happy or relieved to be heading home. Clint tried to act natural. "So, what're we thinking for tonight? Some place nice, drive-thru, or take-out? I could murder a pizza," Clint said, sitting on the desk's corner.

"I'm sorry, not tonight. I have... Things to do."

"That's cool. I could just hang-out until you're done, get pizza later."

Phil looked at him, tension around his eyes. "Clint, I need to be alone tonight."

Maybe Fury admitting he knew about them had Phil hesitating about being together too often. Although, Fury had also made it clear that not only was he willing to, but was already turning a blind eye. But reassuring Phil of that would only be a confession of his eavesdropping. 

So, the "Richard" situation was going to take all night. "Okay," Clint said, smile strained, "see you tomorrow then."

Phil stood between Clint's knees and gave him a long kiss before exiting his office without another word.

Clint didn't see Phil the next day, it was sooner. Later that night, Clint was surprised to find Phil at his apartment door. Phil never came over, unless it was just to allow Clint to pick up a few things before spending the night at his place. Phil's place was just nicer, bigger, and not to mention neater. 

"I have to go away for a few days," Phil said the moment Clint opened the door.

"I can see that." Clint nodded at the suitcase in Phil's hand. "Still sending you out on solo missions?"

Phil's cheek twitched. "Something like that. Not exactly."

"Anything I can help with?"

"I'm afraid not."

"Can I even ask?"

"No."

Clint sighed and scrubbed a hand through his hair. "So, what are you doing here?"

"Saying good-bye. Dawdling. I really don't want to go. I'd rather be sent to the Assendofnowhereistan with you and Natasha than do what I'm doing."

Holy shit, was he planning on coming back? "Look, if this isn't even 'exactly' a mission. Couldn't you say no?"

"I have my duties, even outside of SHIELD, and I am must honor them."

"Is it an Army Ranger thing?"

"Someday, I'll explain. I promise."

It needled. Even with the promise of "someday," this whole situation, Phil's clear distaste for it made Clint desperate to understand, to help. At the moment, there was only one thing he could think of to ease Phil's mood. "Have time for a quickie before your flight?"

Phil pushed Clint backwards, finally letting himself into the apartment. "I thought you'd never offer."

XXX

"I'm thinking Richard's an illegitimate, meta-human son. That's why Fury's involved."

Natasha raised her eyebrows. "You think Coulson would be this reluctant to check in on his own kid?"

"Evil meta-human?"

Natasha twirled a chopstick between her fingers, looking like she was contemplating throwing it at Clint in some incapacitating way. In a sign of her professional control, she set it down. "You need to stop obsessing over this. He's said he will tell you in time. Respect and trust that."

"I'm not exactly feeling the respect and trust over here with him not telling me yet."

"You've only been more than coworkers for three months. Some intimate details of a person's life can take some time, especially for a man as closely guarded as Coulson."

"Barton! Romanoff!" Hill barked. "Your lunch hour was over half an hour ago. Just because your handler isn't here doesn't mean you get to slack off."

"Slack off?" Clint pressed an offended hand over his heart. "Us? Never!"

"If this was the Marines, I'd have you scrubbing toilets so fast..."

"Lucky us, this isn't the Marines." Natasha smiled tightly and was twirling her chopstick again. 

Hills jaw clenched. "New recruits. Romanoff, report to the gym and beat some sense into them. Barton, range, teach them some humility."

The SHIELD version of babysitting duty. "Gee, thanks for getting me into trouble, Nat."

Natasha punched him in the arm.

XXX

Only three days after Coulson disappeared to parts unknown, Clint received a phone call, asking him to pick him up at the airport. Phil had sounded exhausted over the phone, and looked it even more so when he dropped into the passenger seat of Clint's car. He carelessly tossed his luggage into the back seat.

"You okay?" Clint asked.

Phil let out a long breath. "Yes. For now. Until the next 'crisis.'" He rubbed his eyes.

Clint pulled away from the busy airport traffic, but still managed to shoot Phil a concerned look. "Seriously, are you okay?"

"Yes, seriously. I'm home. I'm with you. I'm good, just a little jet-lagged." He reached over and patted Clint's thigh reassuringly. 

Clint drove back to Phil's apartment where Phil made straight for the bedroom. He left his luggage unpacked and barely made it out of his clothes before landing face-down on the bed. Clint stood in the doorway, arms crossed, frowning. Enough was enough. They were going to have to talk in the morning.

XXX

Clint waited until Phil had his breakfast and least two cups of coffee. Pushing his own cereal bowl aside, Clint looked Phil in the eye and said. "I'm worried about you."

Startled, Phil asked, "Why?"

"You've been acting really strange for over a week, in ways I've never seen before. You're being evasive and dodgy, which would be fine if it was about work, but I'm getting really suspicious that it's not." 

Phil nodded and straightened his shoulders. "You're right. I've been keeping secrets, and that isn't fair, even if I do feel some burdens should be left unshared."

Clint reached out and took Phil's hands in his. "Hey, you know I'm willing to share _anything_ with you, good or bad. And with everything I've seen since joining SHIELD? I'm pretty sure I can handle anything you throw at me now. Come on."

Phil took a deep breath. "I have..." He stopped and cleared his throat. "I have a brother."

Oh! That was surprising, but only in how innocent a thing it was to confess. "Well, so do I. Can't be as bad as mine," Clint said.

"Not in that sense, no. But Richard is something of the black sheep of the family. We're nothing alike. Well, except for the whole identical twin part. But he's immature, and kind of stupid."

So, Richard's his brother. Nat's going to kick him (harder than normal) when he tells her. Not to mention... "Whoa! Hold up. Did you just say 'identical twin'?"

"Yeah."

"So, there's two of you?"

"No! That's what I'm trying to tell you. Richard's nothing like me! He's irresponsible, petty, and has no dress sense. His lingering attachment to his crazy ex-wife is troubling. His far-too-young girlfriend even has the same name as his ex-wife. And the only reason I ever make contact with these people is that, like my father, I'm concerned for my nephew's well-being and development."

"You have an embarrassing brother with an embarrassing family. Holy shit, Phil! The way you were acting the night you left, I thought... I don't want to tell you what I thought, because I was overreacting. But only because you've been overreacting."

"I'm not overreacting." Phil glowered. "This dire situation he kept calling about? The one that had my dad insisting I go to the other side of the country to handle? His ex-wife had a dumb-ass idea for their son's birthday party he couldn't talk her out of. So he thought me or our dad could do something about it."

"Why the hell couldn't your dad go?"

"I can't tell you."

"Because it's embarrassing?"

"Because it's classified."

"Oh." And the last puzzle-piece fell into place. Phil's dad was in deep with secret government operations, too. The kind that Fury had at least one thumb on the pulse of. So, that was the "Kay" the director mentioned in the meeting Clint wasn't suppose to know about.

"I also didn't say anything because I know what telling you about them is going to lead to."

Clint grinned. "I want to meet them!"

Phil groaned and dropped his head to the table. "Of course you do."

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thanks be to [cruelest_month](http://archiveofourown.org/users/cruelest_month/pseuds/cruelest_month) for beta and encouragement.


End file.
